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Monday, 25 January 2016

Back At Work

Yep, my week off sick flew by, in lots of ways I'm happy being back at work ... It's another distraction from the intense pain ... It's a battle first thing in the morning especially, I have to wake super early to allow my medication to work, just to enable me to get out of bed .... Yes it really is at that point now ... I am currently taking over 10 medications for this and that ... If I don't then I just get more sick .... At least they help me maintain a sense of normality, I'm so thankful the flare up is easing now .... It's almost time for me to get to bed but before I do,  I just want to say that life is precious ... We have no idea how much time we have, live your life, you never know when your once good health will be taken from you, none of us know what awaits us ... I do believe in fate, I believe we meet people for a reason, we share life experiences, we find enriching friendships or we learn from our unpleasant experiences and hopefully move on .... Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us, good or bad, we learn from their existence .... I'm so tired of waking up to find we lost another Sarcoidonian (snowflake) ... I don't want to lose anyone else ... My past is filled with enough sadness and loss, I've had enough .... It's not something I will ever accept, some say it's the nature of the beast ... That's accepting this disease, I refuse to do that ... I can live with it, it has changed my life but I refuse to ever accept it as a defining part of me ... I will never accept Sarcoidosis ... It's behaviour is parallel to cancer in many ways, it invades your system, leaving you at risk of  internal organs under attack including your heart and brain and .... Well, I don't need to say any more .... Distraction is a wonderful thing, I've been busy walking my sweet, beautiful little dog, making graphics and just doing stuff us mum's do when we have dependent kids ... I need those things to keep me balanced and distracted ... I need my job, it's not about money, it's about the distraction, feeling human again by being around people who gel well as a team ... So, for now, I will say goodnight and I wish you all well, I hope you sleep well and remember, tomorrow is never to be taken for granted, it's now, being here and now, that's what counts, if you can find a way to live your life with that in mind, I hope it enriches your life as it does mine ... Sure, I have my share of low points, but they never last .... Something/someone always gets me through somehow ... There's no magical cure as to how we handle any chronic illness, but it takes a real tough cookie to keep bouncing back and kicking this world right back in it's cruel nuts! Keep kicking nuts all of you!
Goodnight, sweet dreams xxx


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