Sunday, 24 July 2016

Holidays At Last!! πŸ‘™

FINALLY!!!! I can kick back and have a much needed rest .... It's been forever since I last blogged so I'm thrilled about having the time and energy to blog again ... I have literally been exhausted, had very little to no time and when I have had any spare time, I've spent it asleep ... Seriously ... I have been working, walking my baby dog and sleeping ... Oh and housework too, I deep cleaned in my kitchen yesterday but it's hard to work in this heat ... For some reason this part of England has been having ridiculously high temperatures which wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the awful humidity that accompanies these soaring temperatures ... Everyone's complaining and I must admit, while I love the summer, I dislike working in such humidity especially in a kitchen .... We had our uniforms changed recently too and the new one's are much heavier, which will be great in the winter as they'll be warmer, but in the summer they are a pain and too thick to be comfortable in ... 

Online life has been quieter stalker wise LOL ... Well it was for a while and I noticed it has picked up again on Facebook and on GG ... Oh well, whatever tickles your pickle I guess!

I am working on a new tag at last too!! I do take forever to make them, I'm not very quick with them as I like to faff about and have them "just so" ... I've been downloading some latest releases from the amazing and phenomenal Keith Garvey ... You can find his website HERE or you can click the tab in the bar at the top of my blog page ... This guy is an absolute genius ... His art is just beautiful ... Also been hunting around for some scrap kits to add to my collection and I'm looking to build my own website so I can sell my own scrap kits and also so my friend, Lorraine, can sell her beautiful art too online ... I'm hoping to have it all sussed and up and running as soon as possible ... 

Sarcoidosis wise, well it is what it is ... I'm no better or worse at the moment ... I just am ... I'm so tired of one hospital appointment after the other, it's all too much so I'm taking a break from the lunacy of attending appointment after appointment after appointment ... I need a break and I will leave the care to my doctor for now ... I can't stand all the hospital appointments one after the other kind of thing ... It's exhausting in the end ... There's times I get tired of speaking about it too, kind of weird as I'm all for awareness ... Think it might be a little bit feeling disheartened as I hear so much of death from this disease that I'm sort of tired of the whole thing ... I know parts of me are crapping out ... I'm not altogether sure right now that I care .... What will be will be ... It's very difficult to try and live with this illness, as I'm sure it is to live with any misunderstood and/or chronic illness ... There's times I just detach myself from it all and maybe it's a way of coping within that moment, but I just want to feel like there's more to life than sickness and death .... I try and do my best as do we all ... I just need to distract and detach ... I'm tired of sarcoidosis, I'm tired of death through sarcoidosis, I'm tired of lives destroyed through sarcoidosis ... If only people knew more about the disease and would understand that people who have and deal with sarcoidosis daily are incredible ... They don't get recognition for how much harder they work to try and live a sort of normal life, they are just assumed to be a little under the weather, when in reality all of us with this illness are really poorly ... We just choose not to give up! 

Have a lovely Sunday all of you and thank you for calling by!

Saturday, 9 July 2016

You Ever Have One Of Those Weeks? LOL

I've not blogged at all this past week as it was such a busy one, everywhere I turned there was someone wanting to give me shit LOL ... It's fine though, the only place I got a respite from it was work ... I sign into Facebook of an evening and when I can pop on during the day and it never fails to deliver it's fair share of shit LOL ... It's not Facebook, it's some of the people I've connected with unfortunately ... One of them is mental and mad as a Hatter and will not stop lying and trolling my profile even though she's blocked ... She just uses a fake profile to spy on me, then have a meltdown at what I've posted ... Stupid woman has nothing better to do with her life clearly LOL ... Thing is, she lied to so many of us, faked her identity, pretended she was being bullied and victimized and even faked the death of both her parents ... Yep ... Fucking nutcase ... She wants to be friends one minute, then when you politely and very wisely refuse she reverts quickly back into the bitter and nasty creature she truly is and has a post maniacal meltdown!! It's laughable hence all the LOL's 

Shit number 2 - Oh good grief, really!! Someone I decided I didn't want to be with after the unacceptable way they treated me decided to launch into a sly attack on me in a group we are both members of on Facebook ... I posted quite a lot about the E.U Referendum so their sly arsed and very bitchy response was to state some shit about migraines then how they don't post political crap and are on Facebook for fun and friends LOL ... Really? In a sarcoidosis group? ... TWAT!! ... If you really wanted to have a bitch at me, then you could have done so on your page or even more mature would be to speak TO ME!! - BLOCKED!!

My message to you fuckers is this ... GROW THE FUCK UP! ... This isn't some kindergarten and I'm not Arnold Schwarzenegger .... Have the maturity and decency to see what you have done, yeah I'm not perfect and neither are you! But I'm pretty open with life and I have been honest with you both ... Now you can seriously fuck off!!  Fuck you both and feel free to take the horse you rode in on with you!

On a happier note, thank you to someone very dear and who means more to me than they know for the beautiful flowers and for the cards .... I can't remember the last time someone has been so demonstratively kind to me, you really brightened up my week which was very difficult on the whole ... I will make sure you read this at some point :) 

Also I managed to catch up with someone I truly adore ... We spent hours chatting and it was wonderful ... I sort of felt like no time had passed at all ... It was like it was the next day kind of thing ... :) 

Also and while I'm on the subject of connecting with people ... I had a massive rethink as I connected with some old friends over the past few weeks or so .... It's horrible holding grudges ... No one in their right mind wants to harbour ill feelings, I certainly don't ... I appreciate there's only so far we can go to forgive someone, I'm just so glad to have my friends back ... So yeah, I blocked 2 for ill treatment of me from one and the complete lunacy from another, that right now isn't something I can forgive .... But so many years have passed, my dear friend and sis took so much shit online years ago and she never deserved any of it ... I feel so bad about all of it ... My other friend is going through stuff, personal so I'm not repeating ... But seeing her after all this time, it helps you understand that life is so short and so precious ... Why can't we all just be nice to each other and get along? ... Too much time goes by wasted and it's sad ... 

Hence my point ... You people who bitch and dig and make sly comments and lie .... You're pathetic ... You obviously have something to hide so you lash out and make it someone else's fault for what happened .... Just remember that life is short, you want to go through it hurting others then don't expect a huge send off at your funeral ... Don't expect anyone to take your shit ... Don't expect your idiocy to get you anywhere and do not treat others the way you treated me ... That's my parting gift to you shit heads .... I have a life to live and I sure as hell am not going to allow you or anyone else the pleasure of spoiling it with poisonous bullshit .... I stood up to you, you didn't like it ... Boohoo waa waa fuck off!

Sunday, 3 July 2016

New Tag - Happy 4th July! πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

Ok, so my Saturday was ok I guess in the end ... I'm still rather low in mood but I managed to clean everywhere I wanted and to also get some relaxation time too ... While having a rest I made a new tag, I'd lost my MoJo these past few weeks and although was very drawn to my latest purchases, just felt too exhausted to put anything together ... I know I wouldn't have made it through my Saturday even half as well without the support of a very dear friend ... Sometimes it's very hard to hear that no matter how hard you try, how much you give, how much you do despite ill health, it's never good enough ... My only defense is that I try my best ... I know it's not good enough but I do try ... Anyhow ... Enough of that ... Back to the tag I made, I used the absolutely outstanding art work of Keith Garvey ... You will find the link to his website in the bar at the top of the page ... If not and if you don't feel like scrolling up then simply click HERE!! .... I hope you're all enjoying your weekend and to my American friends who take the time to call by, I wish you all a very Happy 4th July ... Sending you lots of love and best wishes ... I'm off to bed as it's very late here, hugs and loves to you all, thank you to everyone who calls by and who takes the time to read my blog entries, I do appreciate that so much ... Goodnight and sweet dreams xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, 2 July 2016

Saturday So Far..........

I woke in pain and I'm sorry for being so graphic, I've been bleeding for about 3 weeks now and I didn't have the common sense to realize that it could be playing it's part as to why I am so physically and mentally whomped out too ... I think I'm so used to it, I've just plodded along and accepted it but I know it's not right ... I also know it's not a cervical cancerous cause which is a relief to be honest ... However, it is draining me and I do need some help ... Guess it's a trip to the doctor next week then .... 

My mood is low at this moment, I have to clean the house and I will do it, I just feel so wiped out all the time ... I'll blog more a bit later, this one is purely so I can just let it out in the moment kind of thing ... I feel very sad at the moment for lots of reasons, human beings are so cruel as a whole .... They will be the reason why this planet is destroyed ... It's in their nature to just destroy, no matter how good they have it, it's never enough ... No matter how good a person may be and how hard they try, it'll never be enough for ungrateful human beings who have it all and don't appreciate it .... What exactly do I mean by having it all?  Having it all is having good health, being loved, stability in the home, enough food, warmth and everything you need ... It might not be everything you want, but at least you have what you need ... Some people have none of these things ...... I'll leave that with you.

Bye for now xoxoxo