Sunday, 23 October 2016

Saturday Night Update 💟

So..... I'm sat here in an almost dark room, it's very peaceful, my eldest son is out partying and my youngest is away for a week with a friend ... The only sounds are my little Eddie dog snoring beside me and the heating clicking on and off .... It's rather cold outside, quite damp actually and my candles are shedding a dancing glimmer of orange and yellow lights onto the wall in front of me ... My computer desk/area is actually under my stairs LOL, just call me Harry Potter as I spend most of my free down time here :) ... I've spent over a week now in possibly the worse flare up I can remember .... The pain has been unbearable, I feel like I have been punched all over, the emotional draining of just everything piling on top of me has seen me decline also .... Hence what I am about to say...........

Whether you make a conscious decision to try and understand the illnesses I have, or not, please step back, take a few moments and think about what you say to not only me, but to anyone with chronic illness and pain.  No I don't mean to go on about it, yes I know this will pass but here are some of the things I have actually had said to me while being poorly........

1) What happened to the really cool person you used to be?
2) Once again you couldn't do something and get it right for once
3) I don't care if you have sarcoidosis, it's not that bad
4) You're fucking useless
5) It's all your fault
6) You really need to get a better job
7) You make no effort
8) You shouldn't be taking those pills, the doctor is wrong
9) You should go to the gym
10) No one cares

Just  some of the things said to me recently .... Nice huh?  Look, I appreciate that not everyone will understand and I totally and completely understand how hard it must be for anyone healthy to understand someone like myself .... However, tearing a person to pieces while they're down is not helpful, it's counter productive and will not help them ultimately .... Now, I'm a tough fucker, but yeah, some of that is pretty nasty .... I know it's not true, however, it is clear that it is someone else's truth and their reality .... I've had some pretty nasty things said to me lately, at a time when I could do with some kindness from people who I thought were friends but I'm not so sure any more .... With things the way they are with my mum, my illness being a bit too comfortable and pulling me down, it would have been a lot nicer and more helpful if certain things had not been said to me, even if the person feels completely justified in their opinion of me ... It's not very nice for me being on the receiving end and I wonder if you would feel the same way I do, if the tables were turned and you were on the receiving end?

So ..... Have a think ..... Does it really need to be said? Do you want to tear that person down even more than they already are?  Would you like it?

Now .... On a far more positive note, here are some of the latest tags I've made ... I hope you enjoy them and thank you for calling by! Love always, Gina xoxoxoxoxoxo

Friday, 21 October 2016

Just A Quick Blog Before I Lay In Bed All Night Unable To Sleep Again Because Of Pain! 🤕

Just a very quick update, been transfixed to Jacob Israel's videos this evening and the time just flew by, I also found the original video I watched on YouTube some years ago now ... Very chilling stuff, which I thought I would post here .... 

I also feel compelled to add Jacob Israel's latest video to my blog too, yes I'm totally off the topic of sarcoidosis, but this is an interest of mine and I firmly believe we need to be opening our eyes, minds and hearts to unite as something is heading our way! This has been an interest of mine ever since I can remember, even as a child I believed there was always more ... So here it is .... His uploads are amazing and he is an awesome guy!

Both are worth watching ... I'm going to now try and sleep, I probably won't be able to as I still feel like a punchbag ... Really hoping the upped dose of Lyrica kicks in soon! 

Goodnight and take care all of you, thank you for calling by ... I do try to make this about more than sarcoidosis, I want to share in my methods of distraction from pain, my hobbies and interests and to hopefully portray that there's more to life and to you than just an illness, despite the battles we all face daily.

My love to you all always, Gina xoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Mid Week Update..... 🤕

Yes, I'm still sick unfortunately .... I've been in so much pain since the weekend, no letting up either, however after a mix up with the doctor, I think my meds are back in order ... Was told Monday I'd be having my Lyrica increased and as my prescriptions are sent electronically to the Chemist of my choice, I arrived there to find no Lyrica :( .... It is sorted now, my Co Codamol isn't helping as effectively as it once used to ... The pain is constant, my head gets no relief at all and if you ask me where it hurts, it's easier and less time consuming to say where it doesn't hurt ... Even my clothes hurt me, it's daft .... I'm sorry for complaining, I know I could be miles worse off ... I appreciate everything I have and feel so lucky, just hoping for some relief and soon now the Lyrica mix up is sorted ... I have literally done nothing ... Only the bare minimum and I'm still in pain ... I've been trying to detract my mind by making tags, listening to an Audiobook on the app (Harry Potter And The Philosophers Stone - Read by Stephen Fry) It has helped ... I think anyone in chronic pain needs support, understanding and a distraction or hobby you can immerse yourself in completely ... It does help.  My distractions are making tags on Photoshop, gentle walks with my dog if I can manage it, Audiobooks, listening to relaxing music can help, something peaceful and gentle helps, I burn my Yankee candles, they help a lot too.  

I'm sat here hurting, it hurts to type ... I think it must be very difficult for a healthy, pain free person to understand .. I get that completely, it must be as you just cannot imagine the feeling like you've been literally punched everywhere and you cramp and stiffen up, the constant migraine, the desperate need for peace and quiet and no human contact (yes it does make you feel that way) the longing to be pain free so much ... Ok .. I will stop there as I prefer to focus on more positive events......

On a positive note, my sons are doing well, both make me so proud .... My eldest had his 21st recently, just can't believe where the time has gone ... My dog just makes me so happy too, he's my baby .... I love cuddling him at night, when I'm in pain I just snuggle into him, watch him sleep, kiss his ears and just watch the moonlight dancing and glimmering into my bedroom .. That in itself can be therapeutic ... Just need sleep LOL ... I'm exhausted right now ... I also love art ... Sometimes just immersing myself in art helps a lot too ... 

Ok, so here's my latest tag creations ... I'm enjoying making them, I am just so unsure on how I wish to animate them, so for now, they remain still LOL ... Enjoy them but please don't copy them or claim them as something you created, that's naughty and please don't remove any part inclusive of copyright, that's illegal so I did warn you :) However, please enjoy them, I like to think that people visiting like them .. I put a lot of time into making them and enjoy that time very much.

I hope you're all having the best week .... Thank you for calling by, love and hugs xoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, 15 October 2016

About Time I Updated..... 😋

So............ Where have I been? ... Nowhere, just so busy and stressed out ... I'm ok but I'm just very tired, I split my head open a short time ago, it's fine though, nothing a little glue and some tenderness couldn't cure ... I also went for my hip X-Ray and the results should've been back by now and aren't so I need to phone my doctor Monday and they said they'll chase up the hospital ... I've been making graphics, made quite a few actually, but non animated ... Been so busy with my kids, dog and housework privately it's just been mental to be honest ... I don't feel well at all ... I'm always in pain somewhere and I'm rather stressed out with work right now too, not because it's the people I'm around but more so a few changes brought in which just cause all of us stress ... I'm not sure right now about these changes, I think we will adapt in time ... It's just trying to get used to it all ... My mum's health has also declined very much ... I'm expecting a phone call anytime telling me to get there as she's not expected to live ... It's very difficult watching the one person I do have left leaving me piece by piece ... When everyone else walked out she was the only one who stayed ... I've sailed many stormy seas and felt very alone at times at the helm but she's always been there to make sure I don't go overboard and drown ... No one else either knew or gave a shit ... I'm also learning who my true friends are once more and that's all I'm saying here about it ... The less time I devote to that, the better.

Sarcoidosis wise, I feel terrible ... This morning I woke with every part of me hurting like a bitch ... My head is killing me, my bones hurt so bad today ... My eyes are sore and a bit blurry ... I think I'm in a flare up also as my lymph nodes are the size of golf balls lol ... They hurt so much as well ... I think once I get moving I might hopefully feel a little bit better ... My faithful and very beautiful little dog, Eddie, is sat beside me though and filling my heart and soul with such joy ... Every time I look at him, I fall in love so much more .... He is the love of my life and a main reason I continue to breathe ... With all this said, I do hope you are all doing great ... I appreciate you calling in and reading up on me ... It's nice that you care, should you do so ... Also, my youngest son mentioned The Mandela Effect to me ... Well, it just blew my mind when I started to research .... I also found an incredible YouTube channel run by a terrific guy named Jacob Israel ... His videos are definitely worth watching ... You can find him HERE so go check him out ... He is incredible!!!! 

So ... Would you like to see some of my latest non animated tags? If so, then please scroll down .... I don't do tutorials, not because I don't want to, I just do stuff differently and mostly in Photoshop ... I can try and explain, should you have questions but please bear with me as to the answers as sometimes I get all muddly fudded up LOL ... But I will so try my best to help you ... Have a wonderful weekend ... Lots of love to you all, always XOXOXOXOXO  💋 💋 💋 💋 💋

Ok ... So there you have it! I'm sorry if I've duplicated any uploads, I checked and I don't think I have but if I have then I'm sorry ... Also I feel compelled to mention this, it's not a pressing issue but I am wondering about anyone else out there who has had the same experience I have with someone going by the name of Ricky Bloodymoon? ... It's been mentioned to me by several people whose identities will remain private that she copies others ... I had this experience with her last year, she was dealt with appropriately after it was brought to my attention she had been copying me for several months ... She was very oddly behaved towards me, she unfriended me on Facebook and the other website, however, she didn't leave it there, she copied my stuff and foul mouthed me, lied and generally caused trouble ... If she has done or is doing this to you, my advice is don't stand for it ... Yes you'll be on the receiving end of her shit, I was for ages afterwards as she created fake accounts to stir up shit, but in the end you shouldn't have to stand for that crap .... I tried to be pleasant over it, she was just plain nasty ... You can only do and give so much before you just leave someone like that to it ... Just don't stand for it ... You shouldn't have to tolerate copying and plagiarism from anyone and if you know and can prove more than 100% this is happening to you, take action ... Be careful and be safe ... 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋